Difficult
by Orietta Rose
Summary: Levi and Mikasa are difficult people. Difficult to speak with, difficult to socialize with & difficult to understand. They are so much alike that it makes it difficult to tell where one begins and the other ends. Micro-chapters series, rated for language. Romance/Drama/Humor
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin is not mine. If it were the Lekasa ship would have sailed long ago.**

Was it training or a fight?

The onlookers questioned the exercise. It was hard to know. The two took it so seriously.

A jab, a kick, a jump, a shift of the feet.

Defensive stance, offensive move.

How long had it been? Ten minutes? Twenty? Longer perhaps.

She blocked him. Moved to take him down.

A blow was landed.

Mikasa found herself on her back.

The captain won. He always did.

His expression was as emotionless as ever. He was not smug, he showed no sign of content.

The same could not be said of her. Her eyes held a furious glow. Anger, directed at herself.

She'd failed.

Again.


	2. Chapter 2

He took no pleasure in sending her to the ground.

No words were spoken, no help was offered. He turned and walked away.

But he was not oblivious.

He'd seen her rage, the internal seething at her inability to send him to his knees. He knew how it rankled her that she was perpetually unable to defeat him.

He had nearly two decades on her.

It shouldn't have been a surprise.


	3. Chapter 3

Another day. Another battle. Another loss.

She repressed an irritated sigh as his foot landed on her back.

Her head turned, to see the victor.

His icy blue eyes, peering at her in a side glace, mouth set in stone, calm and unconcerned. Black hair fell across his face, and yet it seemed that not a strand was out-of-place. There was no heavy breathing, not a drop of sweat to be seen.

How dare he.


	4. Chapter 4

He could see it in her gray eyes, the burning desire to send him flying, how she would have loved to reverse their positions.

She was incapable. Though she sent him challenge after challenge with long, glowering looks, she was unable to defeat him.

Certainly he would never lose purposely. It would be an insult to them both.

He knew, without a doubt, that this would continue. Every day they would battle and every day he would find victory.

She was so difficult.


	5. Chapter 5

It was ridiculous. She could find no weaknesses, he never experienced a momentary loss of concentration, nothing.

Humanity's strongest soldier.

She could have given up, stopped stalking him and left things as they were, but she'd never been one to back down from a challenge.

This wasn't about Eren anymore, though the memory of his bloodied visage helped to send her emotional level soaring.

No.

It was personal.

But he was so difficult.


	6. Chapter 6

"Damn, shitty glasses." Putting dumb ass ideas in his head.

About Ackerman.

About himself.

About himself and Ackerman.

"Dammit."


	7. Chapter 7

Staring.

Why the hell was he staring?

Some kind of plot. It had to be. A plot to put her in her place. That's what she would do, if she were him. A plot to let her know, once and for all, who was the strongest.

The most capable.

The most adept.

Adept...at protecting Eren.

"Hell no," she hissed.

His eyes, they'd definitely been on Eren just now.

Definitely.


	8. Chapter 8

Unnerving.

Why the hell was she glaring like that?

Out of her damn mind. She had to be. She'd finally lost it.

The fight was over. She'd lost.

Again.

So what was this?

"Tch."

He leaned down, cocked his head to the side and placed a hand to his ear. "What was that, Ackerman?"


	9. Chapter 9

Fist.

Dead center.

"DAMMIT ALL TO HELL!"

That'd teach him.


	10. Chapter 10

"She got you good!"

"Shut the hell up."


	11. Chapter 11

Worth it.


	12. Chapter 12

Seething, burning hostility.

He wanted to punch her. Make her see stars. Send her down on her ass and kick her in the face.

To hell with that brat. To hell with that brat and her gray eyes. To hell with that brat, her gray eyes and her choppy as shit hair.

What a shit haircut she had.

Not that he'd noticed.

Except he had.

Shit.


	13. Chapter 13

Still staring.

At her.

At Eren.

At Armin?

Damn him.

Damn that shorty.


	14. Chapter 14

Dammit.

Dammit. Dammit.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

"Goddammit!"


	15. Chapter 15

"Oh shit."

"He's pissed."

"And headed this way!"

Conversations halted. The table fell silent, save Sasha's munching.

Mikasa refused to be frightened, preferring instead to continue eating in the manner that she'd begun:

Mutely.

When he took his place directly behind her, when he stood there without saying a word, when he spent ten minutes glaring into the back of her head, she did not acknowledge him.

When his hand fell atop her head with far more force than necessary she slowly placed her utensils on the table beside her bowl.

Still, she did not react to his presence.

A collective gasp sounded as Mikasa stood from the table, turned and walked right into Levi.

"Oops," she said. "I didn't see you there."


	16. Chapter 16

He grabbed the tails of her stupid red scarf with one hand, deftly winding them around his wrist, and yanked her to eye level.


	17. Chapter 17

Right there.

His face was _right there_.


	18. Chapter 18

He questioned whether his impulsive move had been a good one.

Her face was _right there._


	19. Chapter 19

Oh, God.

His eyes were almost hypnotic.


	20. Chapter 20

Holy shit.

Ackerman was a bloody knockout.


	21. Chapter 21

Why the hell did she suddenly care about his eyes!?


	22. Chapter 22

Why hadn't he fucking noticed that before!?


	23. Chapter 23

Say something, say something, say something, say something!

Someone, anyone, say something dammit!


	24. Chapter 24

_Kiss her?_

Hell no.

Not in front of the brats.


	25. Chapter 25

What was he doing?

Why was he doing that?

Why?

Why?

Why?!


	26. Chapter 26

"Insubordinate bitch."


	27. Chapter 27

In her ear.

He'd whispered in her ear.

He fucking _licked_ her ear.

Her mind went blank.


	28. Chapter 28

He'd expected an immediate reaction, but as long as she was going to remain motionless...


	29. Chapter 29

His lips.

Her neck.

His lips on her neck.


	30. Chapter 30

This...

He was enjoying this.


	31. Chapter 31

Arms, limp by her sides.

Legs, turned to jelly.

Powerless.

She felt powerless.


	32. Chapter 32

"Ackerman," he murmured.

"Mikasa."


	33. Chapter 33

She gasped as though she'd received a foot to the stomach.

Her heart stuttered in a way it had only ever done for Eren.

The way he said her name.

She didn't like it.


	34. Chapter 34

She placed her head on his shoulder.

He pressed a kiss to her cheek.

Her fingertips slid along the length of his arm, the one holding her scarf.

He wrapped the other around her waist.

"Fucking hell!"

She was trying to break his hand.


	35. Chapter 35

She strode from dining hall, pale faced. Both hands gripped her scarf, gripped it so hard her knuckles turned white.

Her mind was a mess. Her heart was racing.

It was all his fault.

Damn him.


	36. Chapter 36

Absolute silence.

Dumbfounded expressions.

Levi left the room without a word.


	37. Chapter 37

She hid in her room.

Like a coward.

Maybe she was.

Maybe she was a coward. Maybe she was a coward who couldn't face a chibi of a man who had dared to publicly humiliate her.

In front of everyone.

In front of everyone and Eren.

In front of Eren.


	38. Chapter 38

Had he gotten carried away?

Probably.

Did he regret it?

Nope.


	39. Chapter 39

She reemerged resolved.

Resolved to knock Levi the fuck out.


	40. Chapter 40

He saw her coming. Stalking down the corridor, looking for all the world like she was prepared to deliver a serious ass whooping.

It was too bad he couldn't allow that to happen.


	41. Chapter 41

He'd seen her.

She would wait.


	42. Chapter 42

He watched her disappear around a corner, a frown on his face.


	43. Chapter 43

A day passed.

She waited.


	44. Chapter 44

Two days passed.

He grew concerned.


	45. Chapter 45

The third day came.


	46. Chapter 46

Whatever he'd been expecting, it sure as hell wasn't this.


	47. Chapter 47

She'd quietly entered his office space.


	48. Chapter 48

"Ackerman, what the fuck are you doing here?"

She removed her scarf.


	49. Chapter 49

"Ackerman, explain yourself!"

She discarded her jacket.


	50. Chapter 50

"Ackerman!"

She settled, face to face, on his lap.


	51. Chapter 51

She hadn't thought this far ahead.


	52. Chapter 52

What the hell was she doing and, more importantly, why the hell was he into it?


	53. Chapter 53

Think fast. Think fast.

Look him in the eye.

Lean forward.


	54. Chapter 54

"Wow! What'd I walk in on?"


	55. Chapter 55

She froze.


	56. Chapter 56

"Dammit, Hanji!"

"Sorry, sorry! I won't tell a soul, I swear!"

"Get out."


	57. Chapter 57

She was never going to live this down.


	58. Chapter 58

He wasn't stupid. He knew what she'd tried to do.

Damn near succeeded too.


	59. Chapter 59

"Ackerman."

She jumped at the sound of his voice, fought to hide her embarrassment, to keep her expression impassive.


	60. Chapter 60

What did he want?

To pretend he hadn't realized this was a ploy.

To finish what she'd started.

To beat her at her own game.


	61. Chapter 61

She'd fled the scene.

"Ackerman!"

She wouldn't stop.

"Ackerman!"

He couldn't make her.

"Dammit, Mikasa!"

She froze. Her name. He'd said her name with that voice.

Deep and smooth.

Dark.

She did not respond vocally. Words caught in her throat, choking her.

She couldn't turn to face him. Glued in position she could not even tilt her head.

His step, steady and strong, was coming nearer. Closer, closer, closer...

"Where do you think you're going?"


	62. Chapter 62

He could scare her into submission, finally teach her some respect.

He could use this against her, blackmail her into compliance.

Instead...

"Finish what you started."


	63. Chapter 63

His demand was unexpected, left her breathless, and she wondered –

Was it unwelcome?

It should have been. It should have made her grit her teeth. It should have made her skin crawl. She should have kicked him for even suggesting something so disgusting.

So, why didn't she?


	64. Chapter 64

He didn't know what he expected her to do, but he did know what he _hoped_ she would do.

And she didn't disappoint.


	65. Chapter 65

She experienced a moment of internal conflict, though it wasn't fear of retribution that stayed her hand; he'd asked for it, but what did that mean?

And then, in a moment of clarity, she realized it didn't matter. There could only be one outcome and he knew it too. Even so, he'd told her to continue.

They would disregard the fact that this, whatever it was, could led them nowhere and, for this one moment, ignore the knowledge that there wouldn't be a happy ending.


	66. Chapter 66

She yanked him forward, gripping his cravat, and crushed her mouth against his.


	67. Chapter 67

It lasted a second, less even, and she released him, turning to walk away and never speak of this unthinkable situation again, only to be stopped.

By him.


	68. Chapter 68

"Mikasa-"

"No."


	69. Chapter 69

She didn't want to hear it. Whatever he was going to say, it couldn't happen. It wouldn't happen. Under no circumstances could there ever be anything worthwhile between them.


	70. Chapter 70

His grip tightened.

"Don't tell me what to do, bitch."

He didn't know what he was doing. She was right. He should stop, drop her hand and pretend none of it had happened.

But he couldn't.


	71. Chapter 71

She attempted to pull away, he jerked her closer.

Her lip curled in frustration. What was he hoping to accomplish? He understood, she knew he did.

"Why are you trying to make this harder?"


	72. Chapter 72

Her tone killed him. Bleak, defeated. It didn't suit her.

The fact that he didn't have an answer was unacceptable.


	73. Chapter 73

She wanted to take it back. All of it. It was a stupid idea, the whole thing was one big mistake and she could kick herself for her lack foresight. There was no way it could have gone well; even the best case scenario was terrible.

And he was making it worse.


	74. Chapter 74

"I don't know."


	75. Chapter 75

"_I don't know."_

That was what he said.

"_I don't know."_

If he didn't know, then how the hell was she supposed to respond? What did he think they were going to do about this? Keep it up? Of course they couldn't.

"You bastard."


	76. Chapter 76

He didn't refute her insult.

He didn't react at all.


	77. Chapter 77

"You stupid, short bastard!"


	78. Chapter 78

He had no response. The words just weren't there.

"_Why are you trying to make this harder?"_

Harder.

Why was it hard at all?

What was 'it'?


	79. Chapter 79

"This isn't going to happen," she said suddenly. "It's not. There's no way it can so just let me go and we'll be done with this—this...whatever. This will end. Now."


	80. Chapter 80

Let go.

He told himself to do it.

Just let go.

If he did this would be over.

Fucking let her go.

They would never speak of it again.

Let go of her hand and walk away.

No one would ever know how far this had gone.

"Fucking hell, just let go dammit!"


	81. Chapter 81

She stared at him, aghast as he shook her arm in a ridiculous fashion.

"What the hell? Did you completely loose it? Just let go!"


	82. Chapter 82

"I can't."


	83. Chapter 83

"Can't what?"


	84. Chapter 84

"I can't fucking let go of your fucking hand, you stupid bitch! What the hell else could I possibly be referring to?"


	85. Chapter 85

"...You can't be serious."


	86. Chapter 86

He was so serious that he dragged her all the way to Hanji.


	87. Chapter 87

Mikasa refused to meet her gaze; the brunette squad leader looked so smug, so...knowing.

But, she didn't know anything.

Nothing.

Whatever Hanji Zoe was thinking it was wrong. Absolutely wrong because there was nothing to know, so when the head researcher looked her way, when a smirk threatened to become a full blown smile, Mikasa glowered. She glowered, her eye twitched and she repressed the urge to smack that _knowing_ look off the face of her superior because she _didn't know anything._

There was nothing to know.


	88. Chapter 88

"Well, I'd say we can safely rule out the possibility of it being a physical issue."

"Speak fucking clearly, Hanji."

"I mean we don't have to amputate."

He didn't have the patience to deal with this bullshit.

"If you don't fucking tell me what the hell I need to do to get away from this stupid bitch I swear on all my fucking pride as humanity's strongest soldier that I will _harm_ _you_ in the worst possible way."


	89. Chapter 89

A chuckle.

Much to Mikasa's satisfaction it sounded slightly nervous. Despite her ire at the corporal for this utterly idiotic situation she could concede that he took no more pleasure in it than herself, maybe even less.

After all, _he_ was the one responsible.


	90. Chapter 90

"Alright, seriously though, it isn't something I can do anything about. It's gotta be mental."


	91. Chapter 91

"So," all eyes turned to Mikasa. "So, there's something wrong with his head?"


	92. Chapter 92

"I'll kill you bitch."


	93. Chapter 93

Despite Levi's threats, Hanji nodded enthusiastically.

"Yup. Something is going on in there and it won't allow him to release you."

She was clearly implying something, but Mikasa chose to ignore it.

"If you want freedom you'll have to figure it out. Obviously it involves the both of you, so I'd suggest talking it through. I'd be glad to mediate of course."


	94. Chapter 94

"Hell no." This was bad enough. The last thing he wanted was to more deeply involve a third party, especially _this_ third party.

He stood and, pulling the brat along with him, stalked from the room.


	95. Chapter 95

In an effort to avoid expending unnecessary energy, Mikasa refrained from digging her heels into the stone flooring and refusing to be tugged along like an unruly child.

It annoyed her to be treated this way, but she would rather cut through the bullshit and be free than put up a fight; so, she allowed the Lance Corporal to drag her back to his office without so much as a word of protest.


	96. Chapter 96

He knew what the problem was. The moment the abnormal mentioned a mental issue he knew.

_Blood and flesh splattered against tree trunks._

Mike Zakarius, a tactical freak who sniffed people.

Deceased.

Petra Ral, caring and kind to a fault.

Deceased.

Auruo Bossard, a highly skilled tongue biter.

Deceased.

And so many others.

_Dead._

They were all dead.

They always died and yet he lived on, forced to carry the weight of their memory.

His friends.

The truth hurt and he wasn't sure he could handle this truth.


	97. Chapter 97

She didn't know what he was thinking, but whatever it was had turned his face pale and made him clench her hand to the point of causing her pain.


	98. Chapter 98

"Ow! Damn it, that hurts!" her voice broke his sudden depression and, on reflex, he dropped her hand.


	99. Chapter 99

Her eyes roamed his face in shock. He didn't seem surprised by his ability to let go, in fact she would go so far as to call his expression rueful. But why?


	100. Chapter 100

He'd acknowledged something, something he had never considered at all, much less thought to be a problem or even a potential one.

He thought of Ackerman as a friend.


End file.
